February 3, 2024

Do scary things

I avoid scary things.

I live my life through routines. I take the same route because I know what to expect. It's predictable and safe. This manifests as restrictions in what I eat, who I hang out with, activities I pursue, places I visit, and more.

Why do I live this way? Experiences from my childhood certainly shaped this behavior but it's also served me well. This discipline and focus has been effective professionally.

But the core driver is fear. I don't want to get hurt.

I know it sounds silly to "fear" things as harmless as new food groups. The literal translation is a bit hyperbolic, but the feeling is directionally accurate.

I've stuck to these predictable routines to avoid disappointment or rejection. The "unknown" heightens anxiety. It feels like a subtle fuse burning through my veins, but without a dynamite to relieve the pressure. It just keeps burning, never-ending.

I know I can do scary things. I've done many scary things. And it turns out most "scary" things are far less scary than I feared.

So, I'm writing this to hold myself accountable to do scary things in 2024 and beyond.

If you see me, ask me what scary things I've done. Hopefully I'll have some good stories to share. :)

P.S. The track, Avoiding Pain, by Slow Magic is apt.

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